This happened a few years ago. One day, I had a chance to wash the white plastic chairs used in Zion. Scrubbing and rinsing the chairs, I removed the stains on the chairs one by one. As I was rubbing them hard with a sponge, the chairs gradually came back to their original white color.
Since there were six hundred chairs, I didn’t have any time to take a break. It was a lot harder than I had imagined. The chairs that had piled up became clean one after another. I started the work at 9 a.m., but it was 6 p.m. by the time I finished
the work.
After mopping and drying the bathroom, I was about to wash myself, but I couldn’t take my ring off. It was because many times I bit my knuckles which went numb while cleaning the chairs and my fingers got swollen. My knuckles hurt because I had my hands immersed in the detergent all day.
While looking at my two hands that were in pain, I felt like something hit my head; my swollen hands in pain looked exactly like my mom’s hands. I couldn’t control my emotions and started crying like a child. I put my hands over my mouth and said, thinking about my mom, “I’m sorry, Mom. I love you. Your hands were very beautiful, Mom.”
When I was a university student, my mom would prepare lunch by the time I arrived home after school. However, one day I told her that I was going to skip lunch because my head hurt and I went to my room. Then my mom came to my room with a cup of lemon tea and headache medicine. She massaged my temples and said, “When you are sick, I am in more pain.”
My mom’s hands were really magical. I began to relax, and the pain began to subside. However, I felt that my mom’s hands massaging my face had gotten fat. Looking at them, I said, “Mom, your hands are chubby.” I tried to take out her wedding ring and it wouldn’t come out. So I added, “We’re going to leave early every day to run so that you can lose some weight.” She smiled and said okay.
Her hands were never chubby before. However, around that time, her hands were always swollen as if they had been hit by something. It was because she hand-washed clothes every day to pay for the tuition fees of me and my two siblings. Back
then, my mom didn’t have a washing machine. So she hand-washed all the clothes with detergent, rubbing each garment against a washboard. How painful it must’ve been for her every day! My mom ended up suffering from osteoarthritis at an early age. The first part of her body that hurt was her hands. Her hands were twisted from the long hours of extreme work, and they would always go numb after work. But still, my mom continued that work until her three children finished their studies. But as an immature child, I could not see her great pain or understand her heart. My mom died from a disease ten years ago, and I lost my opportunity to ask her for forgiveness on this earth.
It was just one day I did that work, but it was not until the day I did the job which was similar to what my mother did that I finally understood her heart and felt her immense love. Now I kiss my hands and say, hoping that my mom can hear me,
“I’m sorry, Mom. I love you. Your hands were very beautiful, Mom.”
I refresh my mind every day, looking at my hands that look similar to my mom’s. When I see someone cleaning or washing in the church, I cannot help but recollect my mom’s love and run to help. When I see someone still immature, wishing only to receive love, I cannot help but see myself, and say, “It’s okay.”
How much our Heavenly Mother must’ve sacrificed Herself until this foolish child could finally understand Her heart! I know that nothing of what I do can repay Heavenly Mother for Her eternal and holy love. However, I’d like to repay Her for Her endless love by serving Her sincerely and taking care of my spiritual brothers and sisters for the rest of my life.
Heavenly Mother, I am sorry, I love You. Your hands are very beautiful.