Our First Child Was No Different

While raising my second child, who is now approximately 150 days old, I often recall memories from when I was caring for my first child.

My first child was healthy and mild-tempered. She rarely got sick, and even after vaccinations, she didn’t develop a fever. But one day, she had a high temperature and slept much more than usual. Very worried, I took her to the hospital, and the doctor said she had contracted COVID-19. She had every reason to cry and complain—she had caught an illness that even adults would find it hard to bear—but she didn’t make a sound. She was the kind of child who rarely got sick and hardly ever made a fuss.

She always fell asleep quickly and deeply, and even when I forgot to burp her after a bottle, she never spit up, not even once. She was so easy to raise.

I thought my second child, born several years after my first, would be pretty much the same. Contrary to my expectation, however, my second baby cried at the same time every night for the first month after I brought her home from the hospital. I tried every possible way to soothe her, but nothing worked.

Watching my baby take a full hour to fall asleep made me dread the arrival of each night. I would hold her until she seemed to fall asleep, but the moment I laid her down, she would wake up from her light sleep. For three to four months, she cried often during the day and was difficult to soothe.

She caught her first cold early, and she recently had to take antibiotics for an ear infection. She would frequently spit up milk like a fountain. I was told that it’s common in premature babies with digestive systems that aren’t fully developed. However, this was all new to me, as my first baby, though also born prematurely, had never experienced anything like it. Tears came to my eyes without me even realizing it.

One night, as I held my crying baby and tried to soothe her, I talked to my husband.

“I remember our first child being different. I don’t know why our new baby cries so much.”

Then he said, “This reminds me of when we had our first child. She cried a lot, too. Don’t you remember?”

At that moment, I felt like I had been hit on the head. Back then, my husband could only see our baby on the weekends because of his work. Yet, he remembered what our first child was like, while I had completely forgotten.

“Our first child was no different . . .”

Only then was I able to remember the moments I had called my mother in tears because my first baby wouldn't stop crying, when I walked outside with my baby in the stroller to help her fall sleep, and when I ran to the emergency room at night, holding my fussy baby.

Even my first child, whom I had thought was easy to raise, once gave me a hard time. However, I had completely forgotten that and only remembered her as an easygoing child who never caused any trouble. With time, I'll remember my second child as an easygoing child who never gave me a hard time.

The Bible tells us that the children of heaven, who are to be saved, are blameless people who follow the Lamb wherever He goes (Rev 14:4–5). When I first read this verse, I wondered, “Could such people really exist?”

Now I understand that we can enter the kingdom of heaven as those without blemish or defect because our Heavenly Father and Mother see us as complete beings and call us Their good children, not because we ourselves are truly perfect.

Father and Mother! You have completely forgotten the countless times when we hurt You, and regard our small efforts as great, giving us abundant rewards. I truly give thanks to our Heavenly Parents.