It happened about four years ago. My heart sinks even now when I think of the event. One night, I was hurrying home as it was cold, windy, and rainy. I received a text message from my mother.
“I’m at a hospital now. Your father got hurt in a car crash. When you get home, take a shower and sleep early.”
I couldn’t calm down. It was terrible to just imagine the situation. When I arrived at home, the living room felt empty with no light on. Normally, my father would be sitting in the sofa and ask me, “Did anything new happen today?” or “Aren’t you hungry?” Then I would give a quick and short reply and go back into my room. I really missed my father.
The next day, my father’s medical test result came out, and he had to be hospitalized for three months. Every day, I visited my father and told him what happened at school during the day. While I was talking to him, he would chime in. In this way, since my father’s hospitalization, my relationship with him improved a lot.
However, as my exam date was approaching, I came to be less interested and worried about my father; for about two weeks, I didn’t visit him. My father kept on sending me cheering messages and giving me a call to ask how I was doing. Even though I had only short conversations with him, he said he was greatly cheered up.
“How was your day today, my son? I really miss you . . . but you must be very busy these days, right?”
Since my school life was more important, I was unaware of his emptiness in his messages. I wish I would have known how he felt, waiting for his son who didn’t visit him.
In a long time, I visited my father’s hospital, but couldn’t easily open the door, feeling sorry and worried at the same time, thinking, ‘What if he scolds me for not having visited him earlier.’ Contrary to my worry, as I opened the door, my father welcomed me in. He looked very different from before. His lips were unlively, his arms became weak, and he was wearing a tight cast all over his body. I felt very sorry and wanted to ask him for forgiveness. I tried to help him have his meal with a soup, but he said he couldn’t digest the food well, and he couldn’t have it in the end. Even before he was hospitalized, he was a skinny person. My heart ached to see him look thinner than before.
“It’s okay. Although I really wanted to see you in person, I was greatly cheered up, just having a talk with you over a phone call.”
I lowered my head, and my father patted me on the head with his weak hands. Holding back my tears, I talked with him for a long time. My father firmly held my hands several times. Time passed by, and I was about to go home, but my father suddenly called me into the room again.
“Chae-un, take the plum juice with you. I kept it there in the fridge for you.”
After exchanging greetings with my father, I headed home. On my way home, I took out the plum juice my father had given me. I cried at a bus station for some time.
Our Heavenly Father, too, must have waited for us for a long time. I often neglected Father’s calling with an excuse that I was busy with my life. Even so, Heavenly Father has always comforted me with His love, which deeply touches my heart. Now I really want to let out the words I couldn’t say before, with great courage,
“Father, I’m so sorry for making You wait for me for a long time. Please forgive me of
my immaturity.”