I had thought my faith was good enough. I had never doubted the truth from the beginning of my life of faith, and had always got answers to my questions through the Bible. Members who started the life of faith earlier than me would say to me, “Do not lose faith in the truth, but keep it to the end.” Actually, I could hardly understand what they said. My faith had never shaken and we all received the same teachings of God. So I could not understand why one would lose faith in the truth.
However, at some point, I was thrown into a very serious situation where I almost gave up my life of faith. I was filled with regrets that I had not done anything to prevent that spiritual predicament, and I was frustrated like a person drowning in water. Fortunately, thanks to Heavenly Mother’s help, I didn’t leave the truth, and things got better than before. However, even after I returned to Zion, my faith wasn’t fully restored. Oftentimes I shed tears in despair, and sometimes I would even doubt the truth.
Meanwhile, I came across a story about a Canaanite woman who received God’s grace. Two thousand years ago, the salvation and miracles from Jesus were not for the Gentiles. However, Jesus said to a Canaanite woman who eagerly cried out to Him for driving out the demons from her daughter, “You have great faith,” and he granted her wish (Mt 15:21–28).
Whenever I prayed to God, I add my own thoughts to my prayers. I doubted whether God would listen to my prayers, thinking, ‘I’m a foolish daughter. Would God listen to my prayers?’ Even I myself would not want to listen to the prayers of a person like me, then I thought God would even more detest my prayers.
However, when I read the story about the faith of the Canaanite woman, I thought, ‘Jesus even listened to the prayers of the Canaanite woman. What about me? I’m a daughter of God. Wouldn’t He pay more attention to my prayers?’ I realized that it does not matter whether or not I’m qualified to receive the answers to my prayers. It is because we are all essentially sinners who don’t deserve to receive any blessing. What counted was not qualification but faith.
I want to have faith like that of the Canaanite woman. In order to please God and be led by Him for the remaining life of my faith, I will walk forward as a daughter of Heavenly Father and Mother.
I really hope that all the brothers and sisters of Zion too will ask God for faith and help. Just as God even listened to the prayer of the Canaanite woman who was not chosen, seeing her faith, He will definitely listen to our prayers because we are His true children.