Letters of Apology

I love writing letters by hand, and I enjoy reading them just as much. To me, a handwritten letter is one of the best ways to express sincere feelings that can be difficult to put into words. Words carefully written by hand may not look like anything special, but the sincerity behind them comes through. Letters also hold precious memories; even years later, reading them line by line can make me feel as though I have been transported back to those moments. Sometimes, simply opening the box where I keep my letters is enough to bring forgotten memories flooding back. That is why I have kept almost every letter I have received over the years from family, friends, and acquaintances. Once or twice a year, I take them out and read them again.

During my summer vacation this year, I visited my parents’ home and went to look for my box of letters. When I found it, I noticed another box sitting beside it. Near the bottom was a label that read, “Family Letters.” The box was filled with letters that my younger brother and I had written to Mom and Dad since we were children.

As I read through them, I realized that although they took the form of letters, most were really written apologies for things I had done wrong. They were filled with promises that I would never fight with my younger brother again and would get along with him, that I would not throw a tantrum when I did not get my way, and that I would listen to Mom and Dad. Embarrassingly, I had made those same promises more than once. I would end up fighting with my brother or disobey my parents, only to write another letter promising that I would get along with him and listen to Mom and Dad.

My parents must have had me write those letters so that I would reflect on what I had done wrong and avoid making the same mistakes. How disappointed they must have been to see that I did not change. Even so, they forgave me time after time, gently patting me on the head and telling me not to do it again. Looking back, I realized that it was their patience and love that had helped me grow up well.

How much more must this be true for our Heavenly Parents? How much pain must I have caused Them by sinning in heaven and continuing to repeat the same sins even after coming to this earth? Time and again, I offered letters of repentance, promising to love my brothers and sisters as myself and to faithfully follow the words of our Heavenly Parents. Yet I gave in to my desires and continued to sin. I was like an immature child who keeps making the same mistakes and writing letter after letter of apology. Thinking of our Heavenly Parents, who have forgiven me hundreds—no, thousands—of times, I was overcome with emotion.

I no longer want to repeat the same mistakes and wrongdoings. It is said that true repentance means not committing the same sins again. I want to truly repent and offer a letter of gratitude rather than another letter of apology. Remembering the love of Father and Mother, who have forgiven my mountain of sins, I will become a mature child who can embrace the faults of my brothers and sisters with love.